Metamorphosis
by Veil of Shadows
Summary: Drabble series. Zuko, in seven stages. Zutara, DISCONTINUED
1. prologue

-1prologue

_the humble beggar_

Her eyes narrow; she shifts into a fighting stance. "What are you doing here?" she asks angrily. "_What are you doing here?_"

He doesn't answer, just keeps walking forward: one step, then another, then another, until he finally stops, inches from her face. His palm just grazes her side. Neither moves; they simply stand there, staring at each other, for a long time, utterly still, utterly silent. Then, slowly, he falls to his knees.

"At your service," he whispers; his entire body slumps as if in defeat. She cannot see his face; it is cast in shadow.


	2. fear

_of being_

She grips the icicle tightly in her palm, pointing the tip directly at his throat. "Why are you here?"'

He smirks at her, his head tilted slightly to the side. "I am but the Avatar's humble servant," he repeats. It's all he's said for the past half hour.

"Don't mock me." She presses the icicle in ever-so-slightly, _just _enough to draw blood. "_Why are you here? _Tell me!"

A pause. "Because I have nothing left."

She opens her mouth, but no words come out.

He looks directly at her, as if daring her to say something. "Are you happy now?"

_of caring_

He ignores them.

He ignores Toph's almost-friendly teasing and wide, manic grins and the way she casually mentions his uncle in conversation. He ignores Sokka's increasingly forced antagonism, his short, barely-perceptible pauses whenever he speaks to Zuko. He ignores Aang's too-kind smile and face like an open book and incessant _babbling _about a friend he had named Kuzon from the Fire Nation, who Zuko really, _really doesn't care about_. Really.

Most of all, he ignores Katara.

"It's soup tonight," she tells them, spooning it out as she speaks. "Sokka finally managed to catch a fish."

"You should've let one of us light it, Katara," Aang says, the usual grin on his face. "I could use some practice with firebending."

The _us _sends a pang into his stomach, but not nearly as much as the almost-smile on Katara's face as she hands him his bowl. It's the only part of the day where she breaks the facade, shows any sign that she feels anything other than betrayed by him, but that only makes it worse.

It's only for duty he's doing this, he tells himself, only for his debt to his uncle. He doesn't-- he _does not want this at all_.

_of failing_

The palace is in flames. It scorches and burns everything it touches: the walls, the tapestries, the garden his mother had carefully designed and cultivated.

Azula only laughs. "Do you think a little fire can stop me, brother?"

"No," he admits. "But I can."

"You?" she says scornfully. "You could never match me."

He swirls the fire around her; she pushes it away. "You'll have to do better than that, Zuzu!" she calls.

Into the smoke he fires a bolt of lightning. Azula stops laughing.

He is shaking, but the shaking is the strength and the strength is the shaking.

_of loving_

"It's your choice," Katara tells him. "Either you come with us when we overthrow Ozai-- in which case you'll probably be the next Fire Lord-- or just leave. I won't stop you. Do whatever you want."

He smiles bitterly. "A choice between regaining my honor and throne and just running away? That's not a choice. It's a bribe."

"I didn't--" She sighs. "Does your honor really mean so much to you?"

"What else is there?"

"Isn't there anyone you care about?" she asks. "Someone you can come home to?"

"Not anymore."

She looks away. "Then stay. Come home to us."


	3. guilt

_of betrayal_

For some reason, his feet carry him to the teashop. A young girl is standing by the entrance.

"Do you have clearance?" one of the attendants asks her.

Zuko walks over, and, because he thinks he knows the girl, puts his arm around her, saying quickly, "She's with me." The girl-- it _is _Jin, just as he'd thought-- looks up at him in surprise as the attendants back away.

He swallows. "Would you like some tea?" he asks. "I'll pay."

To his surprise, the smile she gives him is genuine. "That would be lovely, Li."

"It's Zuko."

She looks down. "Of course. Zuko."

He watches her for a while, files away in his mind the way she folds her arms and twirls her hair and _smiles. _Somehow, she never stops smiling, not even at him.

"Don't you hate me?" he asks her after a while.

She blinks. "No. Why would I?"

He stares at her; doesn't she get it? "Because of me, Ba Sing Se is controlled by the Fire Nation."

She smiles. "I know. You love your country, don't you, Li? So do I. We aren't that different." The smile fades. "But Li-- Zuko. What happened to your uncle?"

---

_of the past_

They stop once for provisions before heading out. The large cities are off limits, being so heavily patrolled by the Fire Nation, but the small towns are often still sympathetic to the Avatar.

Zuko stops at the edge of the town. It's been rebuilt since he saw it last, but he recognizes it nonetheless.

He stands there, frozen to the spot. "I can't go in there," he points out, finally. "I'm Fire Nation."

Katara scowls. "You're just trying to make trouble, aren't you?" she says. But she follows him back, eyes trained on him, watching and wondering.

---

_of your sins_

Azula sends him out with the Dai Li every day. They stop at people's houses, people Azula has deemed dangerous. He follows her orders, questioning, imprisoning, torturing, killing. He feels nothing, although sometimes he wonders what he'd do if he came face-to-face with Song or Jin or Li.

He visits his uncle once. Iroh doesn't ask what he's been doing, only murmurs something about the Avatar and balance.

The next day, he dies.

He was sick, Azula explains. It was inevitable that he would succumb. Zuko sees the cruel smile on her face and has none of it.

That night, he leaves.

---

_of your crimes_

Zuko's first visit to the Earth Kingdom is not for diplomatic meetings, or peace treaties, or border laws. It's to find an ostrich-horse.

With some trepidation, he knocks on the door.

"Hello?"

"Hello." He's staring at the floor, he realizes, and looks up. "Is it Song?"

"Yes! And you're Li, aren't you? Or--" here she smiles ruefully-- "it's Zuko now, isn't it?"

"Yes." He swallows. "I... couldn't find your ostrich-horse, so I got another..."

She takes the lead he offers her, smiling. "Thank you."

"Aren't you surprised to see me?" he asks.

She shakes her head. "I knew you'd come back."


End file.
